Some days I feel like crying. However, the person I am seems to always maintain just enough composure to not break down into creating a metaphorical replica of Niagara falls. I guess, it has a lot to do with the constant state of thought I find myself. I realised the good and the bad experiences wage memory wars, and sometimes the balance of whether I should feel happy or sad falls into a resonant state. This becomes more burdensome than being in just a single state of being. I feel I have a lot to be grateful and happy for, but I also have come under so much strife that it is hard sometimes to call to memory, the good times. Also, people tend to say things to make me feel guilty for even feeling sad. Things such as, “things like this happen everyday, to countless amounts of people,” or “just remember someone somewhere has gone through something much worse.” By no means do I think my situation does not have someone out there who can trump it, but how does that discount how I am feeling? Is it that I am not privy to feel how I feel, merely because someone out there is feeling something much worse than I? Am I to be in a constant state of happiness because there may potentially be someone who can top my situation? I find all that to be utter and total rubbish. Everyone should be able to dwell in whatever emotion they harbour. We all have unique life situations, and no ones situation should be discounted. Should it?
I noticed something today. Well someone kind of made me take notice. I never really chase accolade, nor am I ever fearful to say persons contributed to any form of success I might of had. Call me stupid, but I just don’t see the need to bang my chest, and toot my own horn. In the same breath, I don’t get why people find a need to take away from peoples achievement with defiling words as if it is some how going to bolster their position in relation to yours. People do this to me always, because I don’t go around stating everything I do, people negate my actions… I guess to somehow make them feel as if they are doing more than I. However, reality seldom falters on the truth. If you’re not doing much, I implore that you just DO more instead of trying make SEEM like you’re doing much by being a vile, venomous, and envious human
Round unknown. I am back on Tumblr for an umpteenth time and hopefully I will be able to upkeep this site and share with you all my creative and inspirational journey.
I am finding it increasingly difficult to write these days, but that might be because I don’t get consistent practice in the craft. I began this new blog as an honest attempt at being consistent and diligent in my craft. Perhaps you can say I’m using this blog to test whether I have a craft in writing at all. I personally think that expression through literary means is not only massively therapeutic but it can be pure splendor to indulge in. Two things I find I may need a lot of, that is, therapeutic channels of expression as well as something that might provoke some form of blissful feeling. I have been feeling quite somber for quite sometime, and I don’t usually let on much of what I am feeling, so to get some release and some happiness is really a fantastic thing.